Wounds of Death

 

Her death reopened 

My wounds of displacement 

We’ll never speak again

There can be no replacement 

For good or for bad

the ones that had made you

At their hands you had suffered 

And that pain it had shaped you

Now I lie in dark rooms

With a lump in my throat 

Harder to swallow

Harder to cope

And though it makes little sense 

I feel compelled to hide this pain

To continue to mourn someone 

Full of guilt and full of shame 

I long for the windy nights

You lie in hospice care

I was afraid and alone

But part of you was still there

I’m left with an urge 

To visit your grave

It’s a day’s drive away

I’ll get back there some day 

There’s a piece

There’s a piece of me

In that sky

Wide open, pale blue

Formations of water molecules 

Hanging over you

There’s a piece of my spirit

Suspended there

Trapped between

Everything and nowhere 

        

There’s a piece of you in me

The thing that made me be

Degrading increasingly 

By degrees

There's some peace in me

Waiting for you

To encircle, envelope and encourage 

Like I could never do

Like I always wanted to

There’s some peace somewhere on earth

A small patch of turf

Next to your son

Steps from bamboo clanging 

And swaying in the sun

There’s a piece of me

Back there

A place painful to gaze into

But I am strong enough to care

I will clean your stone

When I visit you there