New (old) Music

 Ah, the start of a new year. Rife with optimism for what adventures all of these months of days may bring. Fresh as clean sheets, crisp as a new peice of paper, and clear as a mountain stream. There's no better time to stop sitting on tons of old music I have had lingering on hard drives for literal decades now and usher them off into the void. Perhaps they will find their way into the hearts and minds of such individuals that will enjoy them and use them as intended. Here are a couple for your listening pleasure: 

Air Guitar was a brief project with my childhood best friend where we were experimenting with guitars, synths, and samplers, figuring out how to make music with these tools. We only ever recorded two songs with a four track tape machine under this moniker with plans for more, but we were ultimately distracted by other musical projects and never returned to finish anything else. I found these songs mixed down on a tape from those days and attempted to clean them up as best as I could. The patina embued by the medium has a distinct charm to it, in my humble opinion.

Cry Radio was another short lived project started with a girlfriend in late 2000. We were a five piece band for a couple performances, but when it came time to record I seemed to be the only person around (besides my then girlfriend that contributed lyrics for a song and vocals on a couple). I wish it had included the other band mambers in the recording process, but it didn't last very long as everyone was quickly moving in other directions. It kind of disintegrated before I could really make sessions happen. As a result it ended up being pretty much just me to play and record all of it.

There's also a new Hifi Envelope album I'm releasing on the anniversary of my mother's passing, February 9th, 2025.

Upon clearing out my late mother’s home

I exist in that space between 

Holding it together 

And all out weeping

Like the formlessness 

Of liquid 

Filling in the cracks and crevices

Seeping

Seamlessly from one 

Moment to the next

Circling the drain 

In the synapses of my brain

Searching my heart

Before time tears it apart

And I acquiesce to the 

God of nothing 

Having served no greater

Good or purpose 

Than the dust that catches 

The light as it floats

Through the silence of your room

On a weekday morning

Wounds of Death

 

Her death reopened 

My wounds of displacement 

We’ll never speak again

There can be no replacement 

For good or for bad

the ones that had made you

At their hands you had suffered 

And that pain it had shaped you

Now I lie in dark rooms

With a lump in my throat 

Harder to swallow

Harder to cope

And though it makes little sense 

I feel compelled to hide this pain

To continue to mourn someone 

Full of guilt and full of shame 

I long for the windy nights

You lie in hospice care

I was afraid and alone

But part of you was still there

I’m left with an urge 

To visit your grave

It’s a day’s drive away

I’ll get back there some day 

There’s a piece

There’s a piece of me

In that sky

Wide open, pale blue

Formations of water molecules 

Hanging over you

There’s a piece of my spirit

Suspended there

Trapped between

Everything and nowhere 

        

There’s a piece of you in me

The thing that made me be

Degrading increasingly 

By degrees

There's some peace in me

Waiting for you

To encircle, envelope and encourage 

Like I could never do

Like I always wanted to

There’s some peace somewhere on earth

A small patch of turf

Next to your son

Steps from bamboo clanging 

And swaying in the sun

There’s a piece of me

Back there

A place painful to gaze into

But I am strong enough to care

I will clean your stone

When I visit you there

Static Sound Décor

Today I've released a new album called Static Sound Décor. A collection of songs I like to think of as rhythmic drone. On Static Sound Décor I consciously set out to explore the rhythmic drone ideas that had been at the heart of my 2020 release Experiments in Relaxation. In this instance I tried to keep a rhythmic center while the original motif spun off new permutations that were melodically related. I didn’t shoot for songs structures so much as air architecture; a space carved out that would hover in time that the listener could inhabit for a moment. The goal for these though is not necessarily relaxation or escapist by design so much as my past efforts. The goal here was more therapeutic and pretty much just for my own enjoyment in the act of creation. I've released this digitally on my Bandcamp and all streaming services, but also on CD. The CD version contains a couple of bonus tracks that will not be released digitally. I've also made a video for the first track:

Echoes & Endings

On May 6th, 2022 I'll be releasing a mixtape via my bandcamp site I'm calling Echoes & Endings. It’s a mix of unreleased material ranging from 1997 through 2007 with one song that was finished this year. The material ranges from my typical electro-acoustic instrumentals to earnest indie pop to ambient noise. I see it as an historical document and also as an examination of the duality of Hifi Envelope as a project with one foot in firmly in the esoteric experimentation and another deeply rooted in the pop tradition. 

Visit my bandcamp for more for more information.  

 

Or least of all, you

 

Of course there are no comments

No reactions good or bad

To the musings of the nearly talented

Shrouded in disdain

Longing for cold days

In the back alleys of sunny places

From decades long ago spent

In confusion and ecstatic joy

Only you didn’t know it yet

It wasn’t clear until

The illusion faded

Like now

Unable to parse out

Happiness from sadness

Need from want

But when the echoes

Become distorted remnants 

Of the strong signal

Surging through you now

You’ll recognize 

All of the beauty that was 

There in your grasp

In every breath

And sigh great fat tears

Of remorse 

Like now

Words and picture by BCFL

Light Lines

 

Ableist notions and excuses

Poetry distracted me from my studies

Guitars distracted me from poetry

Drums distracted me from guitars

Fatherhood distracted me from drums

Women and drugs distracted me from all of it

She distracted me from me

I distracted no one

And when I was finally alone

I was no longer distracted

Words and picture by BCFL

Harold Budd - Rest In Peace

 

As we all know now our patron saint of heavenly music is now departed under heinous circumstances. Harold Budd passed away alone on December 8, 2020 due to complications from Covid-19 as I understand it. It's a truly awful end to what has been an awful year. 

The picture you see here is of Hal and I at the Kitchen in NYC on December 15, 2015. I was fortunate to be in attendance that night then was able to stick around for a reception where I had the good fortune to get a signature in my copy of Colorful Fortune and to chat and laugh briefly with my hero. A wonderful moment I will always cherish. 

The many tributes from Hal's fans and collaborators alike have been poignant and touching, each one shining a light on the brightness and joy Hal has brought into so many lives during his long, fruitful career. 

One such tribute I found particularly touching was that from Bill Nelson, legendary guitarist and frequent collaborator with Hal. Reading it I felt closer to Hal, like I knew him, too. Like I was able to laugh and share in fine food and good drink with him, enjoying the present moment in all it's madness and absurdity. 

Find that here: https://www.billnelson.com/post/for-harold?fbclid=IwAR21nz8kgFxkYjABU6W1VBGe1_6FHddOexqoZ2R7OgFJUrcVZlXQYl9UGjU

Harold Budd helped me from a tender age in my early teens to access a safe space within myself. He helped me to focus my mind's eye, to cultivate calm deep within my own spirit. At many times in my life when the crashing waves of circumstance were threatening to swallow me whole I have called upon this skill, upon this music to see me through. I had discovered through this man's beautiful art a state of being that has helped me to remain centered and provided me with a modicum control in a world of chaos. I am forever grateful to him. May his rest be as beautiful and complete as the music he left us with. 

Experiments In Relaxation

Back in March of this year I ran into Tristan Whitehill(Euglossine), one half of the art collective/label Hatchery based in Gainesville, FL. He had asked if I was interested in releasing something on Hatchery. I had a backlog of songs that were mostly complete that had a similar vibe and made for a cohesive listen so I gladly accepted the offer. It was good motivation to finish these tracks. Then, the Covid-19 pandemic hit and I had ample time to spend at home finishing this set of songs. 

Experiments In Relaxation was released on Thanksgiving, November 26th, 2020. You can listen and buy here at Hatchery's bandcamp: 

https://hatchery.bandcamp.com/album/experiments-in-relaxation

All proceeds will be donated to GRACE Marketplace whose mission is to end homelessness in Gainesville. If you live in this community you have no doubt noticed the homelessness problem our community faces so I felt this was a worthy cause to donate any sales to, especially considering the release on Thanksgiving.

Aaron O'Laughlin made a gorgeous video for the song 'Harmonics for Syzygean Perigees'. See that below:

ESP Summer

 Two of my musical heroes, Ian Masters and Warren DeFever, have a new release out from their legendary  project, ESP Summer. Their one LP, the remix 10", and the ESP Neighborhood 7" made a huge impression on me. Today's release is well in line with the quality of their past output and sees the duo combining the modalities from their respective solo and collaborative releases into a brief, but very satisfying listen. Check it out here:

https://hisnameisalive.bandcamp.com/album/-

Where I'm calling from

I made a mix today to celebrate and accompany an upcoming ep of new material I'll be releasing relatively soon. I'm pleased to announce it will be available on the hatchery label. It's exciting to release new music into the world despite the oppressive conditions we're living through due to the pandemic and ongoing social challenges. Music is a big part of my therapeutic regimen as I'm sure it is for you, too. It's my hope that what I've made can serve in that role for you. I'll post more about the ep, that I'm calling Experiments in Relaxation, in the coming weeks. There's also a lovely video made by Aaron O'Laughlin (from which the still above is taken from) that will be available soon. For now though, you can enjoy this mix on Apple Music if you use that service: Where I'm calling from

Find it on Spotify, too: Where I'm calling from

Been so long since I posted here

 

It's been some time since I've posted anything here. This seems like an appropriate song to share and a fitting segue considering the content of my last post about D.C. Berman. You may be thinking: what is the connection? Well, keep going and you'll see. I got into the Pastels, the Scottish indie pop group, somewhere around the turn of the century. I used to mine Soulseek for obscure indie pop/rock and electronic music around that time. Searching for the Pastels there I came across the American doowop group of the same name from the late 50's. I found I liked them, too! 

Recently, I have departed social media (mainly Facebook) for the sake of my own sanity. I am unable to deal with the methodical way people are being turned against one another as the disinformation machine kicks into high gear ahead the election. Facebook has become the boomers' echo chamber and I have no interest in being bombarded with willful ignorance, racism, hateful rhetoric, and the constant stream of bad news. Having said that, in lieu of Facebok, maybe I'll post here more often. And now I come to the Pastels/D.C. Berman connection: The Pastels covered 'Advice to the graduate' from the Silver Jews' 1994 record, Starlite Walker, during a Peel session at Maida Vale in 1997. Again, it was something I found by mining the esoteric in the days of Soulseek. It was a version of that song that made it onto many mixes from those days. What could be better than the crossing of wires from two of my favorite groups? I was super excited when it was announced that the song would be issued as a 7" single for Record Store Day. Sadly, it was not released stateside, but being as I am, I ordered it from Rough Trade UK. It has arrived and sits safely in one of my 7" bins. 

The only thing I'll really miss about Facebook is getting to flex my music collection and knowledge as I did in a group called Present Listening where people post whatever they are listening to, as the name suggests, presently. It's a group where music and record store nerds could congregate and commiserate. So maybe I'll use this space to that. Now, without further ado, The Pastels covering Silver Jews:

 

But this kind of hurtin' won't heal

I can not accurately begin to explain what it was D.C. Berman meant to me that hasn't already been more adequately expressed by so many other more qualified writers. It's somewhat ridiculous when you consider he was a person I met briefly one time. But the perspective and companionship his writing and music offered me is not quantifiable in terms outside of wishy-washy prosaic speak; the kind of language I will spare you of at this time. What I will share with you is the aforementioned one time I met David. He gave a reading in the town where I live: Gainesville, FL. Some lovely soul had the forethought to record this event and upload it to youtube. For which we all are richer. Thanks to that person.

Hokey rhymes on the day DC Berman died

Ice cubes melting in my glass
why is everything such a pain in the ass?
I want to smoke a million cigarettes
And be buried in the ash

The sound of my own steps endlessly retracing
The droll mediocrity I'm forever facing
Never giving up hope to make something good
I'd do it, I swear, if only I could
Always trying to take this feeling that is so god damn old
and spin it into lines of shimmering gold
I have to put on my sunglasses so all the callous passersby
Won't have the satisfaction of seeing the tears in my eyes
I'm afraid what will happen to me under my own influence
Living a life of unearned affluence

Can we just go on a bike ride forever
And never come back?
Ride our puny minds into the void
and disappear into the black


bcfl
8.7.19

Continuer

Back in 2009 I had assembled what had probably been my favorite iteration of the Hifi Envelope I've ever had. It consisted of my friend Adam Hallock switching between drums and guitar, Charlie Pond on Bass, Shannon Sisco on guitar, violin and vocals, and none other than Steve Clay on guitar. It was a unit that worked remarkably well. Adam's drumming was perfect for the kind of soft, guitar-led indie pop I tend to like to make while my more assertive, fluid drumming suited Adam's songs on guitar to a tee. Add to it Shannon's knack for nailing a melody on the violin, her diminutive vocals, and capable rhythm guitar chops, Charlie's exactly what each song needed bass parts, and Steve's incredible ornamentation and second to none, understated style; we made for an impressive group.

Unfortunately for me, I did not push us to record as I ought to have done and the band began to dissolve as people were pulled in different directions by various academic, personal, and professional commitments as tends to happen to bands in a college town. Save for a few live videos from shows or from practices(like this one), sadly nothing much was documented from that period of this project.

After we went our separate ways Adam, Charlie, Shannon, and another drummer, Steve Freddo(who would go on to drum in Summer Swells) came together to record some songs Adam and Charlie had written. They played a couple of shows and recorded a really terrific ep which you can hear below.

https://continuer.bandcamp.com/

Herbie Hancock

A brood of orphans

I sometimes lament the fact that I have been recording and releasing music for no one much more than myself for some 23 years at the time of writing this. I like what I do or wouldn't keep doing it. Having said that, I am often surprised that more people do not respond to it. I have weird taste and I tend to trust my instincts so maybe the fact that it can be hard to classify what it is I am doing is part and parcel as to why I have not built a substantial following. Add to it that I rarely perform live, am not one given to self promotion, and one can begin to understand why I am not a raging success as a musician.

Then there are those dear unfortunate few that are immensely talented, get signed to big labels, and even tour the world, and still cannot connect with the public at large enough to eek out even a modest living from their art. Like Shelleyan Orphan, for instance. I was introduced to them by the video for "Burst" when I saw it during an episode of 120 Minutes on MTV in the early 90's. Not long after I found a promo cassette of 'Humroot' somewhere. I didn't know what to make of it at first, but it grew on me. Eventually, I would come to know their whole catalog intimately, as well as some of the story that accompanies it.

It's not an especially pretty one either: two young people with very specific tastes and ideas set out to do something true to themselves. They find some advocates on the way(enter Geoff Travis of Rough Trade), as well as some adversaries(namely the British music press), even embark upon a world tour as an opener for the Cure for which they were selected by Robert Smith himself, but still weren't able to find a larger audience. They disband and reform some years later to release a strong comeback album. They do not release another studio record before Caroline Crawley dies from breast cancer.

As a maker of dejected music I feel like it partly my duty to collect and honor other dejected musics so if you've read thus far, good on you. Might as well read this interview with Jem Tayle and watch a couple of youtube videos while you're here. Thanks for visiting.

The song/video that introduced me to them:

One of my favorite tunes from them:

The performance in 1987 on The Tube that caught the eye of Robert Smith:

 And one more just to represent their second record: